Splintered Blog 17: AGELESS
The difference between child-like adults and grown children
10/21/20262 min read
We all get older but not everyone “grows up”. The attributes of youth that we manage to embrace varies from person to person and helps to define our individual perceptions of adulthood. Yet while some retain a sense of positivity, others remain trapped in a state of immaturity utterly resistant to growth or meaningful self-analysis.
Some differences:
Child-like adult see hope in hopeless situations. They embrace change and view unexpected hardships as a natural byproduct of gaining experience. They hold onto a sense of adventure even as their adult lives become mired in routine and responsibility, sometimes even mediocrity. Child-like adults don’t fear the unknown, they remain open to the possibilities.
Grown children find every obstacle a personal affront, something visited upon them by malicious actors or institutions. They externalize rather than internalize missteps and collapse at the first sign of difficulty. They fear everything and view the unexpected or unknown as an existential threat. Grown children are resistant to any form of emotional growth and they project their personal tragedies onto everyone around them.
Child-like adults accept that not everything will go their way, and process disappointment with resignation tempered by experience. They understand that things go wrong sometimes and even the most best-laid of plans are still fallible. Grown children lash out when their expectations are thwarted or events don’t work out to their advantage. Entitlement is both a birthright and an excuse to indulge in unfocused pettiness.
Child-like adults take their failures in stride and learn from past mistakes. They own miscalculations without feeling compromised by accountability. Grown children avoid responsibility at all costs. They deny and deflect to assuage their fragile egos, spending every ounce of energy on the hunt for scapegoats. Their shortcomings are always someone else’s problem.
Child-like adults are fearless. Grown children fear everything.
Child-like adults retain a sense of wonder and don’t take themselves too seriously. Grown children are cynical and petulant.
Child-like adults express generosity and care about others. Grown children are self-absorbed and convinced that life “owes them”.
Child-like adults are resilient and open-minded. Grown children are perpetually aggrieved.
Retaining some measure of youthfulness can be a good thing. It makes you resilient and open to new experiences. It galvanizes you against the horrors of modern life. It allows you to try new things without fearing failure or being neutered by disappointment. Youthful outlooks feed creativity and curiosity, opening you up to new experiences and possibilities.
Refusing to mature on any level insulates you from responsibility but only in the confines of your own mind. It makes you short-sighted, short- tempered, irrational and vain. It visits your failures on others and closes every door to personal growth and fresh perspectives. It chains you to every debilitating weight your self-aggrandizing apathy can muster. Every failure becomes an apocalypse. Every criticism becomes a personal attack, to be met with retaliation instead of reflection.
The difference between these two extremes is more than just superficial; it’s a fundamental facet of our changing lives, the way we process reality, and which corrosives attributes of youth we choose to leave behind.